Hammer City Roller Girls

Ballad of the Rollympic Battle at Pier 8
By: Typhoid Maggie #1869

The Hammer City derby league is made of young and old.
Harmonious they usually are, honest truth be told.
Until that day they chose to divide, and challenge each other’s skills.
On the rink they waged a battle of muscles, finesse, and wills.
The Golden Oldies, as they were known, got off to a strong start
Despite their creaky joints, bad hips and close-to-failing hearts.
But the Bronze Babies, they fought back, as the young are apt to do.
Miraculously, despite their fear, their diapers held no poo.
The Oldies faltered, and the Babies scored, over and over again.
“Grand slam, Grand slam” the announcer said, but the Oldies, they got Zen.
The Oldies, they fought back in the way only the dying do.
They closed the gap, but it wasn’t enough, the Babies’ lead stayed true.
But everybody won that day, skating down by the lake.
Old or young, never mind how many candles on your cake.

The season-end Rollympic Scrimmage held at Pier 8 on Sunday, September 9th was an all-out success.

Babies MVP, Bitchslap Barbie, described the bout as “an amazing way to end the home season. It was great to see so many new skaters out on the track and the weather was perfect. If only there had been free sandwiches”. Oldies MVP, Sox Maniac, added “I had been looking forward to this game all year. Getting MVP was on my bucket list. It was the awesomest of awesomest”.

Thanks to all the fans, sponsors, and volunteers who supported us this season. Our league depends on you to keep us going! The 8th Hammer City Roller Girl season starts in May 2013. The schedule for the 2013 bouts will be published in winter 2013, so mark your calendar and check our website for updates.

We’d also like to send out a big thanks to our Hammer City Rowdy Rowdy Refs. We may scream at you in public or openly question your judgment at times, but we admit it, you’re usually right. Keep up the good work and keep those eyes keen.

Thanks again to everyone from your friendly neighborhood roller girls. See you in 2013!

A Derby Girl’s First Bout

Read about Beonkadonk’s first bout as a Hammer City Roller Girl.
(more…)

The Hammer City Roller Girls treated the mighty town of Dundas to a couple of white-knuckle, nail-biter bouts on August 18, 2012 that ensured a winning home season record for both the Eh! Team and the Harlots.

The Hammer City Eh! Team battled it out with the Forest City Derby Girls (London, ON) in the first bout of the evening, and what a battle it was!

The Eh! Team held a mere 10-ish point lead throughout the majority of the bout although the ladies from Forest City were able to take over the lead a few times before the teams found themselves in a 106-106 tie at the end of regulation time.

The odds in the final, tie-breaking jam were stacked against the Eh! Team with a blocker in the box while the jammer, Mean Little Mama, was one minor penalty away from a stint in the box as well.  Mama managed to emerge from the pack almost immediately after the jam began while Bitchslap Barbie, Dicey and Marmageddon held the Forest City jammer in an impenetrable wall.  A devastating jammer helmet cover fumble by the Forest City jammer rendered her unable to score for part of the jam and a subsequent trip to the penalty box gave Mama and the Eh! Team the chance to rack up 17 additional points to win the game 123-108.

Mama wasn’t the only mean jamming machine on the rink that night.  Ginger Wilde, Dicey, Scooby Doom, and JJ Bladez also demonstrated their fancy jammer footwork to rack up an impressive number of points throughout the bout considering the solid defense thrown their way by the Forest City pack.

Blockers Little Red Rollerhood, Miss Carriage, Oh! Henry, Wild Rice, Bam Bam Bigelow, Bitchslap Barbie, Peppermental, Whacks Poetic and Marmageddon threw up walls, hacked open holes, and delivered earth-shattering hits for their jammers to exploit.

“It was a hard-hitting, physical game”, said Dicey, the Eh! Team’s bout MVP. “It was the most physical bout we’ve had this season… [Forest City] are a tough, fun team to play and I’m looking forward to facing them again in the future”.

The second bout featured a clash between the Hammer City Harlots and the Belles of the Brawl (Brantford, ON) that was equally as heart-thumping and well-matched as the first bout of the evening.

The Harlots jumped to a quick lead as the Belles, aided by some borrowed skaters from London and Guelph’s Royal City Roller Girls, found their footing.  The Harlots and Belles traded leads many times over the latter half of the first period and throughout the majority of the 2^nd period.  In the latter part of the 2^nd half the Harlots suffered the loss of jammer, Scooby Doom, who played in both bouts of the evening before succumbing to a knee injury.  Back-up jammer, Wild Rice, who also played in the first bout was then ejected from the game after too many trips to the penalty box.

It was all hands on deck for the Harlots as they struggled to hold their lead against the Belles late in the 2^nd period.  The last minutes of the game were plagued by trips to the penalty box by the Harlots. The ejection of a key player from the Belles squad gave the Harlots the edge they needed to pull ahead in the last minutes to win the bout with a score of 151-133.

Jammers Abba Stabya, Fista Krusher, and Lucky Lady Pearl used their stellar juking and dodging skills to get around the Belles’ brick wall blockers.

Blockers Biggie Falls, Typhoid Maggie, Bettie Shreds, Taco Bella, Dymond Crush-Her, Bean Stalker, Skarla, Daisy Dynamite, and Whacks Poetic (who also played in both bouts) kept the formidable Belles’ jammers at bay with all the right moves.

“Brantford has some really hard hitters, but our solid walls and quick feet kept us competitive”, said Fista Krusher, bout MVP for the Harlots, “We won the game, but the Belles made us earn it”.

For more Hammer City derby action, check out the Eh! Team’s bout against GTA Rollergirls’ G-sTARs at Ted Reeve Arena in Toronto on August 25^th.  You can also catch all the Hammer City ladies in action against each other during their upcoming Olympic-themed public scrimmage on September 9th at Pier 8 in Hamilton where the Golden Oldies (Hammer City derby girls who have some silver in their hair) will take on the Bronze Babies (Hammer City derby girls who are on the younger side of the divide or who just simply prefer to lie about their age).

WHAM! BAM!! It wasn’t a boxing match but there were hard hits, bobbing and weaving, and a few TKOs as the Hammer City Harlots showed Kitchener’s Tri-City Total Knock-Outs how to rule the ring on Saturday, July 21st.

The Harlots proved their ability to fight for the win after being outscored at the end of the first half, 35-79.

Crowd favourite, Dicey, along with fellow jammers, Ginger Wilde, and team captain Scooby Doom closed the point spread slowly during the first half of the 2nd period and then took the lead by tearing through the Knock-Outs’ penalty-weakened defense lines. The Harlots played clean and stayed out of the penalty box during the final minutes as the TKO’s scrambled for points. During the last jams of the bout, the Harlots outnumbered the Knock-Outs on the rink and generated a comfortable lead of 156-114 with 1:23 left in the game.

While the Harlots’ jammers were racking up the points, blockers Dymond Cut-Her, Little Red Rollerhood, Whacks Poetic and Fista Krusher kept the Knock-Outs’ jammers at bay. Miz Karmakazee, Taco Bella, Peppermental, and Bean Stalker delivered devastating blows to their opponents while Biggie Falls, Wild Rice and Judge Jodie used a combination of finesse and force to clear the way for their jammers.

The hard-fought battle ended with a final score of 165 to 118 in favour of the Harlots.

“We had a blast playing against the Knock-Outs”, said Harlots’ bout MVP Whacks Poetic. “It was a solid game from both teams.” Whacks also noted that she is excited about the winning home season so far – the Harlots and the Eh! Team both won their most recent home games in June against the Royal City Roller Girls of Guelph.

Hammer City’s next home bout takes place on August 18 at Parkdale (Pat Quinn) Arena. This double header will feature the Eh! Team and the Forest City Derby Girls (London, Ontario), with the Harlots taking on the Belles of the Brawl (Brantford, Ontario).

Hammer City Roller Girls fans were treated to a double dose of victory on Saturday, June 16, at Hamilton’s Mountain Arena, as both the Eh! Team and the Harlots racked up decisive wins over squads from the Royal City Rollergirls of Guelph, Ontario. The Harlots downed the Violet Uprising 328-168 while the Eh! Team defeated the Brute-Leggers 254-169.

The Harlots opened the evening with a strong first jam against the Violet Uprising, one of Guelph’s three home teams, and never looked back. The lineup featured a mix of veteran leadership – including Judge Jodie, captain Scooby Doom, and Miss Carriage in her first game ever as a Harlot – and first-year talent. On the jammer line, JJ Bladez showcased her speed while Lucky Lady Pearl impressed with quick movements and a crowd-pleasing jammer takeout. By the end of the first half, the Harlots were in command of the game, leading 167-54. Crunching hits by the unforgiving Peppermental, first-year standout Daisy Dynamite, and BC transfer Hart Knox in her debut for HCRG allowed the Harlots to continue racking up the scoreboard, despite the unrelenting tenacity of the Uprising’s key jammer duo of The Hellcat of Panar and Babe Le Strange. Fista Krusher also delivered some fearless jamming, in her first game for HCRG, while Miss Carriage showed the fans why she’s a triple threat with her keen track awareness, signature hip checks, and smooth strides with the star.

After the carnage of the first bout was cleaned up, it was time for Hammer City’s Eh! Team to deliver the goods. Mean Little Mama quickly took advantage of a penalty and put up 34 points in the first jam, and the Eh! Team were on the way in closing out Guelph’s all-star team, the Brute-Leggers. Oh! Henry wreaked havoc with her athleticism and backwards blocking, while veterans Bitchslap Barbie and ChainSAW Mary delighted in knocking green-hued skaters to the floor throughout the bout. The Eh! Team sat on a lead of 139-63 at halftime, rotating in solid jamming from JJ Bladez, Abba StabYa, Scooby Doom, and rookie Ginger Wylde. Fellow rookie Sox Maniac was poised in the pack, working smartly off the on-track leadership of pivots Whacks Poetic and Marmageddon. The Brute-Leggers never backed down from any challenge however, and delivered their own displays of strategic blocking (Archbitch of Slamterbury, Lady GoreJess) and gutsy jamming (Hot Cross Guns, The Hot Shemale) to answer back whenever the Eh! Team threatened to pull away. In the end however, the strategy and experience of Eh! Team made it a 2-for-2 night in the win department for HCRG.

HCRG would like to thank the usual suspects – fans, friends, family, Rowdy Rowdy Refs, visiting referees, NSOs, and volunteers – as well as the Royal City Rollergirls for coming to the Hammer for a fun- and tumble-filled fight on the track. (The Brute-Leggers, by the way, also killed it at the after party!)

Next up for the Eh! Team is the Ruckus in the Rustbelt tournament in Youngstown, Ohio on June 30. The Harlots return to action on July 21 at home when they face off against Tri City Roller Girls’ Total Knockouts from Kitchener, Ontario.

Video courtesy of the Hamilton Spectator

Hammer City — thank you for coming out and supporting the girls in black and yellow last Saturday! It was an exciting home opener double header against two squads from Roc City Roller Derby from Rochester. NY.

Hammer City’s Eh! Team lined up against the Roc City Roc Stars in the first bout, a WFTDA sanctioned game. With penalties on both sides, and an extremely hard effort put forth by both teams, the score was 265 – 133 in favour of Roc. This bout saw fan favourites Dicey and ChainSAW Mary return to the flat track, both of whom delivered solid games, and harder hits. There were some new faces taking the line for the Eh! Team for the first time on Home turf — congrats to Skarla #100 and Scooby Doom #K9 (Scooby also put up points on the board as a jammer for the Eh! Team).

The second bout of the evening was a nail-biter! The Hammer City Harlots hosted the Roc City B-Sides in an exciting bout that saw strategic play, close action, and more than a handful of lead changes.
Hammer City delivered great defence, and took advantage of power jams. JJ Bladez #5 had a 29 point power jam in the second half of the bout, which put the Harlots in the lead for most of the period. More congratulations to skaters who played their first home bout with Hammer City: Biggie Falls #666, Domino Brasco #131, Red Baron #1117, and Taco Bella #82. Look out for our fierce rookies all season!
With Roc City taking advantage of a power jam in the final jam of the game, the Harlots took a very narrow loss of 141-133. The next match in this new rivalry is certain to be epic.

Our next bout in Hamilton will be Saturday, June 16, 2012 at the Dave Andreychuk (Mountain) Arena. The Hammer City Eh! Team will take on the Royal City All-Stars (Guelph). Stay tuned for more news and ticket sales. This is a bout you won’t want to miss!

The Hammer City Roller Girls’ (HCRG) regional team, Hammer City Harlots, fell to the ROC City B-Sides 208-54 on Saturday, July 9th at the Dave Andreychuk Mountain Arena.

Our hard-hitting Harlots put up a great fight! Congratulations to Judge Jodie #67 for taking home the Harlots’ MVP.

Join the Hammer City Roller Girls! DERBY 101

Sunday, July 24, 2011 at 12:00pm Derby 101 is open to all beginners looking to learn the sport of flat track roller derby. Skilled HCRG skaters will teach you skating basics and the foundations of roller derby. Email freshmeat@hammercityrollergirls.ca to register! More on Derby 101!